


So Precious In Your Hands

by Imogen_LeFay



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Background Kurt Hummel/Adam Crawford, Background Rachel Berry/Jesse St. James - Freeform, Background Sam Evans/Mercedes Jones - Freeform, Background Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce, Future Fic, M/M, Misunderstandings, Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Soulmates, idiots to lovers, soul marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29380011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imogen_LeFay/pseuds/Imogen_LeFay
Summary: Everyone wants to find their soul mate, waiting for their soul mark to finally bloom.Blaine Anderson has very firmly given up on that, but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t wishing for his own happily ever after.It seems impossible – at least until Sebastian Smythe steps back into his life, with no intention of disappearing again. Is it enough, though, to beat the odds?
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 27
Kudos: 88





	So Precious In Your Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xonceinadream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xonceinadream/gifts).



> written for @xonceinadream as part of the @seblainegiftexchange on tumblr  
> I eventually picked the soulmate tropes (which is a first for me, so I hope it works), as well as a bit of Valentine's day, I hope you like it!  
> Title is from the Ace of Base song Life Is A Flower (literally only because of the flowers)

* * *

Blaine closed the door to the apartment behind him, and finally allowed himself to breathe.

Damn, this audition had been awful. He had tried his best, of course, but to be fair, it was kind of hard to get into the mindset of a cyborg Mercutio who was bemoaning the fact that his robot lover R0-ME-0 ended their affair to pursue a relationship with the human daughter of his inventor’s archenemy. Really, he should have run screaming the moment he heard about the script, and that was before he’d met the casting director and his inappropriate stares, as well as the suggestion that maybe the thing stopping Blaine from reaching his full potential was the fact that he was still wearing a shirt.

Being between roles sucked. But certainly, he wasn’t this desperate for a job? He still had some money saved from his last role, and if he ran out, he figured he could always call Cooper, who’d finally got himself cast as a regular in one of the million Law and Order spin-offs. So really, the awful audition wasn’t the end of the world.

Still, it was about as helpful for his mood as the cold October winds outside or coming home to an empty apartment. But Mercedes was gone on a two-week trip to promote her newest album, and Sam had gone with her. Not that he blamed them. He was honestly happy for the two of them to get some time to themselves.

Just…

Sometimes, it was kind of disheartening to look around and watch his friends. Some nights, he’d give anything for the complete ease and comfort and happiness he could see between Sam and Mercedes, finally on the same page. And every time he saw Santana and Brittany intertwining their pinky fingers, so the lines of their soul marks looked like the fully blossomed, colorful flowers on their arms grew from one stem, that tiny rush of happiness for them was accompanied by a hint of jealousy. Even the chaos between Jesse and Rachel seemed enviable, the way their melodrama and insanity always were on the same level, driving each other to do better and better…

It did get lonely sometimes, and those nights, Blaine was relieved that his own mark was in a position he didn’t have to look at constantly. With a few lost vines following the line of his hipbone, most of the flower rested on his lower back, the bud itself centered on the left side of his butt. Suffice to say, he’d gotten several comments on that placement. It had also been fun in school, given how popular the question “where’s your soul mark” was in truth or dare games.

Of course, not looking at his soul mark did nothing to stop him from yearning for a soul mate. Someone, who just got him. Who understood him to the point of _feeling_ his emotions.

He wasn’t unhappy, and he wasn’t technically lonely. He even dated, although when the date began talking about soul mates, he knew it would go nowhere. Clearly, that wasn’t something he was looking for.

Unfortunately, that sentence didn’t hold much weight either. How often had he heard that on a date, only to find out it wasn’t true at all? Blaine understood, of course. Most people who said that on the first date meant something different. Too many people went into dating, expecting their soul mark to bloom on meeting their soul mate, so if that didn’t happen after the first date, they moved on immediately. It was common knowledge, of course, that it did not work like that. Everyone had a soul mark somewhere, looking like the tattoo of an intricate, unblossomed flower, that burst into bloom with their soul mate’s. But only in the rarest cases did that happen upon meeting that person. The real reason why a mark blossomed wasn’t completely clear – soul marks being a surprisingly recent field of research among the social sciences – but the expression used most often was, that the mark blossomed when soul mates “recognized each other”. Blaine hadn’t understood until Sam and Mercedes had told him they were soul mates, close to the end of his first year at NYADA. It had been a stressful time, with Mercedes preparing her first tour, and they had been on the verge of breaking up – until Sam had told her he would not give up on her, no matter what anyone else said, including their friends. She’d cried, they’d kissed, and when they parted, they had noticed their soul marks had bloomed. When he heard about that story, Blaine had understood. Recognizing each other… as plain as it sounded, he could finally see the beauty of it.

No wonder the bud of his own mark was still closed. But that epiphany had not made dating any easier.

These days, “I’m not looking for a soul mate” basically meant “I’m not expecting love at first sight”. Unfortunately, that meant that his dates usually were disappointed sooner or later when they realized that Blaine was actually not looking for his soul mate.

That, or they were just interested in a hook up. And as fun as that could be, Blaine was looking for more.

It wasn’t bad, not exactly. Not everybody ended up with their soul mate after all. Sometimes it didn’t work out, for some reason or other. And while Blaine yearned for more, he knew he’d rather be alone than lose himself.

This was the choice he’d made, and he’d make it again in a heartbeat. And it wasn’t like his chosen life was all bad. So maybe dating was harder than he’d ever expected. Maybe the instability of his chosen career kept him awake at night more often than not. But he loved being on stage, meeting people, and he loved his friends and the found family he had with them. Not everything was perfect, but maybe that was just life. It was still the better choice.

His musings were interrupted when his phone rang, showing a number he didn’t recognize. His thoughts jumped to the audition immediately, and he wondered if he maybe hadn’t made an awful impression after all. It opened up a new conflict, especially after he just succeeded in convincing himself that not being involved in a play like “Romeo 9000” was probably a bullet dodged. Still, a role was a role, so he answered – not immediately, no need to seem desperate…

“Yeah, hello?”

“Hey, killer. It’s been a while.”

Blaine felt his jaw drop, the thoughts of the audition and the creep of a casting director blown away immediately, because… he knew that voice.

“Sebastian? Oh my god… how are you? I haven’t heard from you in…” Forever, really. He tried to think back of the last time they’d seen each other. It couldn’t have been at his train wreck of a proposal… but the more he thought about it, the more he realized it probably was.

“Ages, I know,” Sebastian said. “I hear you’re taking Broadway by storm?”

Blaine laughed, shaking his head. “I was in one show,” he said. “I had like five lines and most of them were _I don’t know this guy_.”

“And I still can’t believe I missed it,” Sebastian said. “You’re working on the next one, though?”

Blaine sighed, thinking of the audition. “Sure,” he said. “Coming any time now.” It wasn’t technically a lie. He did have a few more auditions lined up, including one for Les Misérables, that he was especially hyped up over, even if it was a long shot. He paused for a second, wondered whether he should get into that, or try some more small talk. But then he decided to cut to the chase. “Is that why you’re calling? Do you want to preorder tickets already?”

Sebastian laughed, and it was insane how easily Blaine could picture him, the expression on his face. “That depends. Is it this week?”

Blaine frowned, until he realized what Sebastian was saying. “Wait… are you in New York?”

“Visiting my sister,” Sebastian said, “and also I’m sounding out a few things, but… let’s not get into that, it’s pretty boring. So, I was wondering if I could steal you away for coffee, and maybe some catching up?”

“Yeah, of course,” Blaine said without hesitation.

“Cool, so it’s a date,” Sebastian said. “Just let me know when you’re available?”

“Okay,” Blaine replied. “Can’t wait.”

Strange enough, but when he ended the call, the apartment didn’t look quite as dark.

* * *

As Blaine waited at the coffee shop, he wasn’t quite sure what caused that bubble of excitement within him, but it was pointless to deny that he was looking forward to seeing Sebastian. Still, he assumed at least parts of it had to come from the audition for Les Misérables he’d just come from, even though he felt anything but miserable right now. He knew it was a long shot, even getting the audition for Enjolras had been a miracle. And still… he felt good about that one. So maybe he’d been a bit faster on his way to the coffee shop, but at least he’d gotten the opportunity to order already. He kept an eye to the door, and he wasn’t disappointed to see Sebastian walk in almost exactly on point.

He hadn’t changed much, still tall and lanky, his hair tousled the slightest bit, in a coat that made it very clear how expensive it was. In a flash second, Blaine wondered whether he might seem too eager, but then Sebastian’s eyes fell on him, and a smile bloomed on his face. It looked just as infectious as it had back then, and Blaine couldn’t help but grin as Sebastian approached.

“I’d say something about remembering the hair, but… I kind of don’t. Nice curls.”

Blaine laughed, shaking his head. “I’ve eased up a lot on the gel,” he said. “Besides, I’m just coming from an audition. I figured hair gel on 19th century revolutionaries wouldn’t quite fit.”

“Well, you won’t get complaints from me,” Sebastian said. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” Blaine said.

“I’m not late, am I?” Sebastian asked as he sat down with him, looking at the cups in front of them.

“No, my audition just went a bit faster than expected, so I thought I might as well be a bit early and get us coffee,” Blaine explained.

“Oh.” Sebastian looked a bit taken aback. “Too bad?”

“What? No, it went great, just three guys before me were kicked out after like a minute,” Blaine said. “I actually have a good feeling about this one. Though I did have to guess your coffee order. Hope that’s okay.”

“It’s coffee, I’m sure it’s fine,” Sebastian said.

Blaine had to bite down on his grin as he watched the other man lift the cup, take a sip – and start laughing. Now, Blaine couldn’t help himself and joined in. He, too, took a sip, and let himself enjoy the mix of tastes. The bitterness of the coffee, the sweetness of the milk, and that soft, warm burn of cognac.

“A shot of Courvoisier,” Sebastian said, shaking his head. “You remembered that.”

“I absolutely did,” Blaine replied.

“Because you won’t ever let me live this down, will you?”

Blaine laughed again. “Not a chance. Although… Gotta hand it to you, it’s not half-bad.”

Sebastian shook his head, and Blaine was surprised to see the hint of a blush on his face. “You do know I was just trying to impress you, right?”

Blaine shrugged. “And _you_ know that it kind of worked.”

Sebastian sighed melodramatically. “If only it had worked just a little better… just think what could have been.”

“Imagine that,” Blaine said. It wasn’t like he never thought about it, but he’d learned long ago that What Ifs didn’t lead anywhere.

He could see Sebastian’s gaze subtly shifting towards his hands, and realized what the other man was looking for. There was just the hint of a frown, probably when he noticed there was no ring.

“So, um, how’s…”

“I’m not married,” Blaine said, cutting to the chase. “Or engaged. Not anymore.”

“Oh. Um… condolences?” Sebastian asked. He almost managed to sound neutral, to the point that Blaine was honestly impressed.

“Oh, no, don’t worry. That ended a long time ago, we’re friendly now. It’s fine.”

“Well, in that case – to freedom,” Sebastian said, lifting his cup with spiked coffee.

“I’ll drink to that,” Blaine replied, smiling as he took a sip from his own cup. “So tell me, what have you been up to?”

Sebastian shrugged. “Oh, you know, nothing special.”

Now that turned out to be an understatement. As Sebastian started talking about Paris, studying journalism and politics at SciencesPo, and then about his job writing for a newspaper in Paris, Blaine found himself captivated. Sebastian was still as good at telling stories as he had been back then.

Their cups were almost empty by the time he’d arrived at the latest article he’d written, covering the mayoral race in Paris.

“Pretty impressive,” Blaine said.

“I mean… it’s pretty good so far,” Sebastian said. “I’m just not sure I want to stay there forever. It would be nice to move up, you know? Not sure Paris is the right place for that.”

“So, any chance for you to come back here?”

Sebastian shrugged, and sighed. “You never know. I mean, I’m definitely looking around. But for now, I think I’ll take it one day at a time. Enough about me though. How about I get us a refill and then you tell me all about that audition you just went to?”

One refill turned into another, before they decided to leave the coffee shop. Fortunately, today wasn’t too cold, the winds dying down to show New York in its best autumn colors, golden and beautiful. It wasn’t Sebastian’s first time in the city, but he was still tourist enough to enjoy Blaine showing him around, and follow him to dinner at one of his favorite small restaurants.

Suffice to say, it was way later than expected when they stepped outside again and made their way to the next metro stop.

“Thanks for this,” Sebastian said, as they approached it. “I really had fun tonight.”

“Me too,” Blaine said. Still, he found himself hesitating. This was the natural point for the night to end, but he felt oddly reluctant to let go. It felt like this was a short window of opportunity, and he didn’t want to let it close quite yet. “You know…” he started, not quite sure what to say. Suddenly, Sebastian’s eyes widened.

“Look out!”

Even as he yelled the words, he got hold of Blaine, one hand on his shoulder, one on his waist and pulled him closer. He could just so feel the rush of air, and as he turned his head, he could see a bike rushing past. His breath shuddered. That had been close.

“Thanks,” he said, looking up at Sebastian wide-eyed.

“Don’t worry,” Sebastian replied, slowly relaxing his hold. But as he did, his right hand slid lower, resting on Blaine’s lower back. It sent tingles through all the lines and vines of his soul mark, warmth rushing through him.

“Are you okay?” Sebastian asked.

Blaine’s mouth felt dry, and then the words just tumbled out of his mouth. “Do you want to come back to my place?”

Sebastian blinked, his eyebrows shooting up in an almost comical manner. The words clearly surprised him as much as they had Blaine himself, but honestly, he could think of no reason to take them back.

“Are you sure?” Sebastian asked.

Instead of an answer, Blaine rose to his tiptoes and kissed him.

He had wondered what it would feel like to kiss Sebastian – back then, when it had been forbidden and he had told himself again and again it would be the last time, and then later, on occasion, when it was just a harmless fantasy of a could-have-been. He had imagined Sebastian opening up immediately, just as he did. That hand in his hair was definitely something he’d thought of before, thanking his stars to have let his curls loose today. He might have pictured Sebastian’s other hand lying directly on his mark, but he couldn’t have imagined it would feel this intense.

When he pulled back, Sebastian’s eyes were blown, just a thin ring of emerald around his pupil.

“Well?” Blaine asked.

Sebastian blinked a few times, and then the smirk was back. “Thought you’d never ask.”

“Then let’s go.”

* * *

When Blaine woke up, he felt relaxed in a way he hadn’t been in a long time. He was lying on his right side, with Sebastian curled around him, one arm slung over him. The other man’s breath felt warm on his skin, calm and soft, as he was clearly still asleep.

So, this had happened. His big what if finally answered. And Blaine wondered for a moment, how he felt about it. But honestly, he was mostly at peace, as if any stress had just disappeared, if only for a little bit. So maybe it was just a one-time thing, an opportunity taken while he could. After all, he wasn’t looking for his soul mate. This was just about feeling good.

And honestly, he did.

Careful not to wake Sebastian, he turned around until they were face to face. Up close, asleep, he looked maybe even more beautiful than before, with his long lashes, the beauty spots marking his face and going down his chest. His expression was peaceful in way that looked almost strange on him. It was a good look.

Just because he could, Blaine let his hand stroke over his shoulder, down to his waist, and then to his left hipbone, the beginning of his soul mark, following the intricate pattern of vines and leaves over his lower abdomen, to the point where it dipped under the blanket, into less innocent territory, where he now knew the unopened bud lay. There was just the slightest hint of tingling under his fingertips, and as he looked carefully, he could see the soft changes, dark lines twisting, growing in one direction or the other.

He remembered a long time ago, remembered obsessively staring at his own mark at night in the mirror, after having coffee with Jeremiah, and how thrilled he’d been to see the vines move ever so slightly. It had been the first time his mark had reacted to anything. Surely, it had to mean something.

The truth was, marks reacted to any kind of romantic or sexual entanglement, it didn’t signify finding a soul mate. Real certainty was only in the blooming, when the bud broke into a blossom. There were other indicators, though, as Blaine knew all too well by now. After things with Jeremiah had not worked out – and wasn’t that the understatement of the century – Blaine had learned to treat his soul mark with a bit more serenity, had stopped checking it every day, even after getting into a relationship. He would not obsess over the mark again. Whatever happened, would happen.

Maybe both extremes were a mistake…

“You should probably know this whole watching-someone-sleep thing only works in teen romance novels.” Sebastian’s eyes stayed close, even as his lips curled into a smirk. “It’s kind of creepy in the real world.”

Blaine felt himself grin. “Just admiring your soul mark. Of course you’d have it at a place like this,” he said softly, but didn’t stop tracing Sebastian’s mark.

“You’re one to talk,” Sebastian replied. “Yours is right over your ass.”

“Are you making fun of my soul mark?” Blaine asked in mock outrage

“I’d never,” Sebastian replied. “I couldn’t imagine a more perfect placement.”

Blaine laughed. “The last great romantic,” he said.

“What, do you want me to read you poetry?” Sebastian asked. “You think I can’t come up with something dirty?”

“Still trying to impress me, huh?” Blaine asked.

“Can you blame me? I show up at this new school, and everybody was only talking about you, their sadly stolen brother. The stories they told me about you… I honestly thought they made up about half of them. Or that you were some sort of collective fever dream, nobody could be that great.”

“You’re definitely exaggerating,” Blaine said.

“You have no idea,” Sebastian replied. “They compared you to Sinatra and Humphrey Bogart. Classic Hollywood dreamboat.”

“It wasn’t like that… Definitely not all classical.”

“You’re not classical? Please, you had a pocket watch.”

“They told you about the pocket watch?” Blaine asked. “And you remembered that?”

“What can I say? I do like a man with classic jewelry,” Sebastian said with a shrug. “You wouldn’t happen to still have that?”

Blaine sighed. “I lost it some time after I transferred. Just an accident. I tried to get it repaired, but… Maybe it was some omen…”

“Sounds like one,” Sebastian said. “Shame, tough.”

“What, you have a thing for pocket watches now?” Blaine asked.

Before Sebastian could answer, the conversation was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. His eyes widened in an almost comical way and he all but jumped out of bed to search for his phone. Once he found it, he took one breath before answering. It was honestly impressive how cool and collected he sounded all of a sudden, like he wasn’t standing naked in the room of a guy he’d just hooked up with.

Not that Blaine didn’t appreciate the view.

It was a short conversation, and Blaine had no idea what it was about. Sebastian seemed to agree with someone, and for a moment there was as flash of excitement, and happiness that made Blaine’s heart skip a beat.

Once the conversation ended, Sebastian closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. He looked incredulous, and suddenly a lot younger. When he turned towards Blaine, the smile that spread on his face was so beautiful, it ached.

“Good news?” Blaine asked. He felt like he was holding his breath, and he didn’t even know what this was about.

“You know how I said I was sounding out a few things? Um… the truth is, I had a job interview. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to jinx it, but… that was the New York Times. I’ve got a job.”

“Oh my god, that’s amazing,” Blaine said. “You… I can’t believe you.”

He couldn’t help it, he had to surge forward and pull Sebastian into an embrace. For a moment, it was pure enthusiasm. Then, Blaine realized they still weren’t wearing anything. Sebastian seemed to come to the same conclusion, his eyes darkening in lust. He lowered his head, but just before their lips connected, Blaine was hit by a realization, almost flinching back.

“Wait,” he said. “You’re moving here?”

Sebastian looked at him in confusion. “Uh… yeah? Is that a problem?”

Blaine shook his head. “So not a problem,” he said, before pulling Sebastian into another kiss, and then, back to his bed.

All it meant was that this window of opportunity wasn’t nearly as short as he expected.

Right now, he couldn’t think of better news.

* * *

It took a bit longer until everything was taken care of, but like promised, Sebastian moved to New York. And maybe, Blaine had the occasional inner crisis, wondering what that meant, if something would happen, if this could go anywhere… but in the end, it all fell into place naturally. Obviously, Blaine took the opportunity to show Sebastian around between his rehearsals – coffee shops, bars, the occasional club, all the tourist attractions he was still convinced one had to visit within the first month of moving somewhere, or otherwise it would never happen… And if Sebastian was still insanely flirty, and Blaine couldn’t think of any reason to resist, now that he knew exactly where it could lead… well, there was nobody to judge him for it. After all, wasn’t it time he went after what he wanted?

That, mostly, was running through his head as he walked into the Spotlight Diner. His friends were already gathered around a table, empty plates in front of them. Blaine hadn’t been able to make it on time, instead opting to get coffee with Sebastian before he had to leave for some political gala he got to cover.

“Sorry, got caught up in something,” Blaine said, as he slid into the booth besides Sam and Mercedes.

Santana, sitting with Brittany at the head of the table, snorted. “Wanky,” she said, and Blaine felt himself blushing. Although really, there was no way she could know anything. “So, who’ve you been chatting up?”

“I wasn’t chatting up anyone,” Blaine protested. Honestly, he was developing some sort of pride in winding Sebastian up without having to say anything… But just the thought made him blush even deeper, to Santana’s unending amusement.

“Don’t mind her,” Kurt said, “she’s in one of those phases where she hyper-focuses on everyone else’s love life. You’d think she has to compensate for something…”

“Oh, do not get me started on you and Doctor Who,” Santana bit back.

Only then did Blaine notice a newcomer to the group. Perched between Kurt and Rachel was a guy in a dark blue flannel shirt with a beanie perched on top of his messy blond hair. It took Blaine a moment to connect the dots and recognize him from some old pictures and videos he’d seen as Adam Crawford, Kurt’s ex-boyfriend from NYADA.

“Oh. Hey,” Blaine said. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Blaine.”

“Yeah, I know,” Adam said, although he did extend his hand in a slightly awkward gesture. “I’m Adam.” And really, the awkwardness there was probably inevitable, now that Blaine knew that technically, Kurt hadn’t broken up with Adam before they got back together. And engaged. Yeah, awkward probably didn’t even begin to cover it.

“Adam and I ran into each other, and well, we got talking, and… long story short, we’re back together,” Kurt said.

“Really? That’s great,” Blaine said.

Weirdly enough, Kurt looked a bit irritated by his answer. “Sorry, I probably should have told you earlier,” he said.

“What? No, don’t be ridiculous,” Blaine said. They broke up years ago, after all.

When he’d moved out of the loft, Blaine hadn’t known it was the beginning of the end. He’d really thought more space might be what saved their relationship. He’d taken time to think and realized he’d been suffocating Kurt. So he’d decided to take a step back, let his then fiancé come to him.

Except, he never had. The truth was, once Blaine stopped reaching out, they hadn’t gotten in touch at all. It had felt all too much like being stuck at McKinley, waiting for Kurt to remember he existed. One day, after taking a shower, he’d caught a glimpse of his soul mark in the mirror. The vines of it had been littered with jagged thorns. That, more than anything, had told him that he was miserable, and he couldn’t go on like that. He had to end it.

It hadn’t been an easy decision. Most people wouldn’t even consider walking away from their soul mate. Sure, his soul mark had never blossomed, but Blaine knew, and he’d known back then. Color was a pretty certain indicator, and he would never forget that morning after the first time they’d slept together, when after his shower, he’d seen his soul mark in the mirror, and the leaves had been tinged in hues of green and blue. He wasn’t sure when the color had faded, had only noticed some time after regionals that year that it was gone, but it hadn’t worried him. Sometimes color disappeared from an unblossomed soul mark, it didn’t have to mean anything. Or maybe it had, and Blaine should have seen it as a warning, like the fact that Kurt’s more obvious mark on his right arm had never shown color, or that one time he’d actually felt Kurt’s emotions, like soul mates were supposed to do. That, too, had been a warning shot that Blaine had ignored.

But seeing his mark like that, more like barbed wire than a flower, had finally gotten through to him. Soul mates or not, he could not do this to himself.

The breakup had come as a surprise to Kurt, and even now, Blaine wasn’t sure he’d ever been forgiven for that. But that was what it came down to. He couldn’t lose himself, and if that meant ending things, then he would live with it.

“Seriously? That’s it?” Santana asked, rolling her eyes. “And here I thought there’d be drama, but I’m bored already.”

“Nobody wants drama,” Kurt said, glaring at her. “We’re friends, remember?”

“Sure, all friends,” she said. “And there are no taboo topics, right?”

“Right,” Blaine said, although it felt like there was something else waiting that he might not be ready for.

The feeling grew stronger when Santana turned towards him with a self-satisfied smirk. “Then tell me, how’s Feivel doing?”

He felt his jaw drop, as he stared at her. It took him a moment to find his voice again. “How?” he asked eventually. “How can you possibly know that?”

“I know everything. Magical Mexican third eye,” she replied.

“It’s true, she does know everything,” Brittany said, hooking her pinky to Santana’s, their wedding rings sparkling under the dinner’s lights. “Last week she told our neighbor that his car would get kicked into the side, if he didn’t stop parking it halfway on the sidewalk, and two days later it was keyed, and the tires were slashed, and then he kicked it in frustration. It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy.” Brittany said,

“Wait, what is she talking about?” Rachel asked.

“The guy had it coming,” Santana replied, “and you have no proof.”

“What? No, I meant… How is who? Blaine, are you seeing someone?”

“Yeah, well, turns out Princess Sparkles isn’t the only one who got himself some action,” Santana said.

“I feel like I’m missing some New Directions context,” Jesse said, looking at them like they weren’t making any sense. Which… well, for an outsider they probably kind of didn’t.

Blaine sighed, shaking his head. “She’s talking about Sebastian.”

“Excuse me?!” Kurt’s voice sounded shrill enough that Blaine swore he saw even Adam flinching the tiniest bit.

Still, he refused to feel bad about this. It wasn’t like they were still show choir rivals, or that it was anyone’s business who he was seeing. “He got a job at the New York Times, and we’ve kind of been reconnecting, so…”

Mercedes snorted. “Is that what the kids call it these days?”

Kurt stared at her like she had betrayed him somehow. “You knew about that?”

“We live together, remember?” she asked.

“It’s not that bad,” Sam said, “they’re not usually that loud, it’s just that one time they thought we were out, except we weren’t… it’s cool, he’s actually respectful and all. No rock salt anywhere in sight.”

Not the greatest defense, but Blaine would take it. “Thanks, Sam.”

“Well,” Rachel said, “I won’t pretend there isn’t any history, but that being said… show choir rivalries can get out of hand, we’ve all done things we aren’t proud of, and we all agree that people change and mature. So, I guess if you’re happy, we should give him a chance, right?”

“It’s Sebastian,” Kurt said, “how much do you really think he can change?”

“How much did you really think I could change?” Jesse replied, looking more than a bit defiant as he put an arm around Rachel.

Thankfully, Kurt didn’t seem to want a confrontation. Instead, he shrugged. “I’m just saying. It’s not like he’s soul mate material.”

“Yeah, well… good thing I’m not looking for a soul mate,” Blaine replied.

* * *

Apparently, once Sebastian had returned into his life, he had no intention to step out of it again, so somehow between his new job at the New York Time, and Blaine’s suddenly busy rehearsal schedule, they still managed to find enough time for dates.

And yes, they were dates. Even if Blaine had his reservations whether Sebastian would ever be interested in more than simple hook-ups, there was no other way to call what they did. They got dinner together, went out for drinks, went to clubs and sometimes even to see shows. He’d met Sebastian’s sister – beautiful and brilliant, and way more cynical than he’d thought a wedding planner should be – as well as some of his coworkers, and more than once had brought Sebastian to hang out with his friends from Ohio, which honestly went better than expected.

All in all, Blaine was kind of happy with how things were going.

And then, the dial got turned up.

When he left the theater, Blaine still was stunned and not completely sure if the last few hours had been real or some sort of extremely elaborate daydream. He was so out of it, that he didn’t notice Sebastian until he almost ran into him.

Obviously, this was the grace his director was so impressed by.

“You okay?” Sebastian asked, thankfully more amused than anything by Blaine’s stupor.

“I think so?” Blaine said, although it came out more as a question. “What are you doing here?”

“Picking you up on a date,” Sebastian said. “I’ve heard about a Christmas market that just opened, and I figured with how rehearsals are going, I couldn’t risk you going home first. Let’s be real, the second you sit down on that couch, it’s over.”

“True,” Blaine said, and he couldn’t help chuckle, even though he still had a bit of trouble coming back to the present.

“Damn, how bad was the rehearsal?” Sebastian asked, as he gently led him down the street.

“Our Marius got fired,” Blaine replied.

“What?”

“Yeah, he kept missing his cues during the ABC café scene. And sure, that came after weeks of screwing up, and the director was in the worst mood ever, so she got so tired of it that she fired him,” Blaine said. “Honestly, I haven’t seen a takedown like that since Carmen Tibideaux cut that freshman from NYADA for announcing she was singing You Should See Yourself by Sondheim…”

“What’s wrong with that?” Sebastian asked.

Blaine shrugged. “It’s not by Sondheim. And yes, people were expelled for not knowing that.”

Sebastian gave him a sideway glance. “How is it possible that your college was even more insane than that public school?”

“You want to hear something really insane?” Blaine replied. “The understudy was on stage, and when he stepped in, he stood like two feet too far on the right, and that was enough for her to fire him too. Okay, and maybe he had a few shots of vodka before rehearsal. But still. Insane.”

“So, who’s going to play Marius?” Sebastian asked.

Blaine stopped, and now, finally, it hit him. “Guess,” he said, his voice breathless.

Sebastian frowned, and Blaine could _feel_ the moment he understood, even before the grin spread on his face. “Seriously?”

And slowly, Blaine’s face split into a grin. “Seriously.”

Before he knew it, Sebastian had pulled him onto a fierce embrace, and Blaine held onto him as if for dear life, as the hilarity of the situation finally broke through.

“I can’t believe it,” Blaine said, unable to stop himself from laughing, the whole thing so surreal and still… he felt almost giddy with it, even more with the way Sebastian seemed to mirror it all right back at him, sharing the emotion. What else was there to do then kiss him, right there on the street, just because he could, or maybe because he couldn’t not do it…

“You’ll blow them away, I know it,” Sebastian said.

Blaine laughed, pushing down the instinct to wave off the compliment, downplay it. But not now, not when such a rush of pride was sweeping through him. Instead, he rested his head on Sebastian’s shoulder, and just took in everything about this moment. Sebastian’s hold around him, the warmth – not just physical, but how connected he felt, the tingling as Sebastian’s right hand once again came to rest over his soul mark, even through two layers of fabric.

It could be like this forever…

That thought was what pulled him out of this moment of bliss. Forever was a long word, when they’d just been seeing each other for such a short time. They hadn’t even talked about what they were, what they wanted… if this was just a nice, fun thing to do, wasting their time on each other, or if this could be something more serious. He remembered how Sebastian used to talk about dating, going to scandals, finding new hook-ups… He had never sounded interested in having a boyfriend. He had, of course, never expressed interest in a soul mate, either…

Sebastian stepped back, looking at him with a frown forming on his face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

Well, one thing wrong was how Blaine could feel something warm in his chest at how easily Sebastian read him, even if he’d tried to hide it. It sent a rush of hope through him, that maybe this meant something more. But how could he bring this up right now? He couldn’t exactly just burst out with it, out of nowhere, asking Sebastian what they were doing.

“I’m serious, you’re going to be amazing,” Sebastian said.

It took Blaine a moment to realize what he was talking about, that he thought Blaine’s change in mood came down to insecurity about the role. It would probably make a good scapegoat.

“I hope so,” he said, and smiled again. “Maybe I just need a bit more time to get used to the thought. Anyway, we should get going. You said something about a Christmas market?”

“Are you kidding? We’ll do that some other time. It’s here all month This calls for something bigger,” Sebastian said. “Let me call Colette for a second, I think she can swing us a table at Danielle’s.”

Blaine nodded, and let him call his sister. It wasn’t quite as easy as Sebastian had expected, but after a few minutes, he ended the call.

“Danielle’s booked, but she actually had a reservation for Le Jardin she was about to cancel. Sounds good?”

“Yeah, of course,” Blaine said. He was smiling so wide that it was almost painful. He knew it would take a while to get used to the role, but it was such a foreign experience to have someone so happy about his success, and to have Sebastian look at him full of pride, like Blaine was somehow… precious…

Well, getting used to that might take a lot longer. And still, he tried to remind himself, as connected as he felt right now, he just didn’t know…

Sebastian watched him, a hint of insecurity flashing over his face. “What’s wrong? I still feel like I’m missing something,” he said.

Blaine shook his head. “No, I’m… it’s just… that’s really sweet. I mean… that’s kind of a high-end restaurant.”

“Not that high-end,” Sebastian said, “we don’t really have time to go home and put on blazers.”

“Still, though. It’s sweet.”

“And…?”

Even as he said the next words, Blaine feared he was severely misreading the situation. “And not exactly casual?”

“Why would it be casual?” Sebastian asked, frowning. “We’re not…” He stopped, and Blaine felt a faint stab of… honestly, it almost felt like panic. “Do you… want this to be casual?”

Blaine was taken aback at this. “I mean… I thought you’d prefer that,” he said. “It’s… not really my thing, I just thought… I could go along with it? But we never really talked about it. About what we are, so…”

“I guess we didn’t,” Sebastian said. He almost looked deflated, when he looked back, and Blaine felt a sudden urge to reassure him. But when Sebastian continued, he surprised him again. “Was there… did I make you feel like I see you as something casual?”

Blaine stopped, and thought back. Really, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that no, he hadn’t. Nothing about Sebastian’s words or behavior had given even the slightest implication that he didn’t take them seriously. They hadn’t discussed it, but everything Sebastian had said and done seemed like he was as serious about this as Blaine was. And really, it wasn’t that hard to pinpoint where the impression was coming from.

“I’m sorry,” Blaine said, “I guess I just… assumed? You used to be kind of open about not being interested in having a boyfriend.”

“I mean, I’m not obsessed with the concept of having one,” Sebastian said with a shrug that didn’t come off quite as careless as it was clearly intended to be. “But I do care about you. I mean, I’m not a dumb teenager anymore, thank god. Besides, even back then… you know I was talking it up, right? I mean, I had my fun at Scandals, but it’s not like I was hooking up with a different guy every night. I guess I thought it sounded impressive to act like some kind of playboy.”

“Honestly… I thought it was kind of charming,” Blaine said, the warmth returning to his chest.

“Douchebag Me was charming?” Sebastian asked, not quite buying it.

“Not that playboy image,” Blaine said, “although I was kind of impressed. More like… that you tried so hard to impress me? There was something sweet about it.”

“You’re clearly insane,” Sebastian said, “but I guess it works in my favor, so I’ll take it.”

Blaine laughed, shaking his head. “You know you don’t have to try so hard, right?”

The smile on Sebastian’s face was so genuine that Blaine felt something melt inside. “I know,” he said. “I kind of want to anyway. And this is what I’m starting with.” He raised one of his gloved hands to Blaine’s cheek, softly drawing circles into the skin. “Be my boyfriend,” he said.

And what else was there to answer, but one breathless word before he surged into the kiss.

_“Yes.”_

* * *

In the past, Blaine had imagined more than once what it would feel like to be with Sebastian, usually followed by wave of shame and pretending the thought never entered his mind. But even then, he’d never imagined what it would be like to _date_ Sebastian.

As it turned out, it was easy to let go of old assumptions and preconceptions, when Sebastian turned out to be so very good at it.

With the change in roles, rehearsals had gotten a lot more intense, and Blaine was exhausted most nights. More often than not, he’d just love to come home and crash on his couch. It worried him at first, too used to his relationships fizzling out whenever he wasn’t on top of things, making sure there’d be dates and romance… but with Sebastian, it was different. As Blaine’s workload increased, he seamlessly stepped up, planning their dates, or even just picking up some take-out so they could stay in. Sebastian even seemed to enjoy those nights, when they just shared their days, while stealing bites of food from each other, watching Gordon Ramsay lose his mind in awful restaurants. The proximity to Blaine’s bed – or couch, or even carpet once, and god did he hope Mercedes never found out about that one – certainly was a plus. Not to mention, without someone to actually drag him out of the house, there would have been a real chance that this year Blaine had missed his beloved Christmas season, including holiday themed drinks, ice-skating and that Christmas market, which Sebastian did complain didn’t even come close to the one he used to visit in Strasbourg.

Sebastian even got along with his friends. He so easily fitted into the conversations with Sam about different super-heroes, and Mercedes appreciated what she called “the inclusion of another adult” to the group. Santana and Sebastian got along so well that they seemed like the same person sometimes, too similar for their own good, even if they kept sniping at each other. Jesse seemed to like Sebastian, although that was probably because he didn’t get about ninety percent of Sebastian’s digs against him. And he was civil enough with the rest, so that worked out. Kurt still wasn’t a fan, and probably never would, but that was something Blaine could live with. Adam at least seemed relieved at the inclusion, although that was probably because it was one more person that wasn’t a New Directions insider.

Honestly, Blaine was… happy.

His career was going up, his family was doing well, he had a great time with his friends, and this was probably the best relationship he’d ever had.

Dating without looking for your soul mate was… difficult. Most people were either looking for their soul mate or random hookup. A steady relationship wasn’t in the cards for someone not looking for a soul mate.

But with Sebastian, Blaine could allow himself to relax, and feel secure. Even if that playboy image had been an exaggeration, he was pretty sure that Sebastian had no patience for such a sentimental concept as soul mates. Blaine wouldn’t have to worry that Sebastian would leave him for a potential soul mate, the other man had made it clear enough that it was Blaine he was interested in.

Or maybe this was Blaine tempting fate, by yet again buying into old assumptions.

* * *

The announcement wasn’t a surprise.

Blaine had known, of course. Sam had been planning this since Thanksgiving. He’d booked a New Year’s getaway for Mercedes, and told Blaine all about it, how he’d take her to a quiet place away from the resort’s party, and right at midnight, instead of a New Year’s kiss, he’d get on one knee, and ask her to marry him.

Blaine had helped with the planning as well as he could, and had gone with Sam to help him buy his engagement ring – ignoring the comments to the last time they’d gone ring shopping – and was now silently waiting for them to return and announce the good news.

There was no doubt what Mercedes would answer. They just made too much sense together.

He heard it first, of course, right after the two arrived back at the apartment. They all hugged and had some champagne together. The following weekend, they met with the rest of their friends, the two of them officially announcing their engagement. Everyone was thrilled for them, even Santana barely had any barbs to throw out, except a stray remark aimed at Blaine, asking if he was going to get a new apartment or stay with his engaged friends.

Not that he hadn’t thought about it before. This was probably a good time to find his own place. And well, maybe he could go for one that was big enough that it had space for another person. Just in case. It was too soon to talk to Sebastian about getting a place together – officially, they’d been dating for only a little more than a month – but he figured his boyfriend wouldn’t want to stay at his sister’s apartment forever.

Then again, he thought as they walked through the door, it was a really nice apartment. With an excellent timing, Colette was spending the weekend in Atlantic City to help planning the wedding of what sounded like a complete bridezilla, so he and Sebastian had decided to retreat here, in order to give Sam and Mercedes some privacy.

It didn’t hurt that Colette had an excellent collection of wines and had no problem with her brother taking some liberties with it. True to form, Sebastian had opened a chardonnay for them by the time Blaine had gotten out of his shoes and hung his coat.

“Evans getting married… now that’s an image I hadn’t expected,” Sebastian said, silently raising his glass for a toast.

“Why would that be so surprising?” Blaine asked, frowning.

“I don’t know, it just seems… you know. Kind of grown-up, especially for him.”

“Twenty-five isn’t that young for marriage,” Blaine said.

“I know, I know, it’s just…” Sebastian shrugged. “I don’t get them.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… okay, so it’s none of my business,” Sebastian said with a shrug, “it’s just so bizarre to me how they work.”

“Why’s that?” Blaine asked.

“Oh, come on, look at them. Mercedes has it together like nobody else in your group of friends, and I know you love Sam, but even you have to admit, the guy’s a mess. I’m not saying they’re not good together. I’ve seen them. I just really don’t understand how.”

“Maybe that’s exactly why,” Blaine said. “They complement each other. It’s sweet.”

“Huh…” Sebastian looked at him a bit surprised. “And here I’d have thought you’d come at it from the soul mate angle.”

Blaine froze. “What do you mean?”

“You know, they work because they’re soul mates?” Sebastian said.

“They are,” Blaine said, “but that’s not why they work. I mean… being soul mates isn’t a guarantee that things will work out.”

Sebastian stopped, and when Blaine turned around, he was surprised to see his boyfriend actually look upset. “I know it’s not a guarantee,” he said, “nothing is. You can still fuck it up. And it’s probably even worse then, but still… It’s worth it in the end, right?”

“For what?”

“You know… someone who’s your perfect match. Who doesn’t need a word to understand you. Who’s so in tune with you that your emotions mesh… What, you’re not interested in any of that?”

“I think it’s overrated,” Blaine said.

He knew it was some sort of defense mechanism, but the part about emotions meshing would probably always be a sore spot. In his whole life, he could only pinpoint one single time he’d actually been sure to have felt another person’s emotion. That day, when he’d proposed to Kurt, that whole spectacle at Dalton… in the moment Kurt had said yes, Blaine had felt a surge run through him like a knife, filled with pain, and fear, and _no_ , a complete contrast to the smile that Kurt had shown him. If he hadn’t been pulled into that kiss, that had actually felt genuine, he would have turned away and just run off. Looking back, he should have taken it as the warning it was. A proposal that was accepted with such a rush of negativity couldn’t have worked out under any circumstances.

But that had been years ago, a world away, and he couldn’t let the past dominate his present. Not when Sebastian looked at him with so much uncertainty in his eyes that Blaine felt it clawing at his own throat. And really, he shouldn’t have said anything. Why did he have to make this such a mess, when they should be happy for their friends?

“Huh… I never would have guessed you’re such a cynic,” Sebastian said.

“I’m not,” Blaine protested.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow in silent judgment.

“Okay, fine, maybe about this one thing,” Blaine said, “it’s just… people get so focused on being soul mates and being destined, and I just…” He stopped, biting his lips as he looked away, and he didn’t even know why he was getting so emotional about this. “Isn’t it more important to be happy?”

He wasn’t sure what to expect. Protest, fighting, for Sebastian to just turn away. Why wouldn’t he? If soul mates mattered to him, then he had to know this wasn’t going anywhere. Why waste his time, if he really wanted a soul mate?

Instead, Sebastian put a hand to his cheek, making Blaine look up and into his eyes.

“Are you happy?” Sebastian asked. “I mean, not right now, but… with me?”

“Yes!” The word was out of his mouth immediately. If there was one thing he was certain about, this had to be it. And god, did he hope he could somehow make Sebastian see, make him believe…

Sebastian exhaled, and it almost sounded like a sigh of relief. “That _is_ what matters,” he said. Slowly, his hand moved to the back of Blaine’s head, his fingers grasping into the loose curls, moving closer until their foreheads touched. His voice was barely above a whisper, when he spoke again. “It’s all that matters.”

Blaine had to kiss him, hold him, anything to be closer, to feel him. He didn’t know what was going on, how he could feel out of tune and still so close to someone, but he… he needed to tell Sebastian, to show him with his body, even if he couldn’t find the words for it, that he wanted this, wanted _them_ , to hell with soul mates, and destiny, or whatever else would try to get between them.

They barely made it to Sebastian’s bedroom, clothes littering the way to his bed. There was a desperation in it that Blaine wasn’t used to. They’d been impatient before, crazy with lust and hunger, but this was… different. That dissonance was still there, as close as they got to each other, and Blaine had no idea how to solve it. All he could do was give himself over to the sensation, into Sebastian’s hands, as they kissed with more passion, more need than ever before. It was all that mattered, to show him… Blaine wasn’t even sure what.

He always did his best not to look at Sebastian’s mark, even if it was in a too obvious position. Still, over the last weeks he’d found his strategies. Eye contact during sex, keeping his hand clasped over it during blowjobs… he’d made an art of it, so subtle that Sebastian hadn’t even noticed. Tonight, this too had its own despair. Blaine just knew, he couldn’t stand to see it, that mark, the ever-present reminder that Sebastian had someone out there for him, someone Blaine wouldn’t be able to compete with. He could ignore the fact usually, but tonight…

He’d been sure, so sure that Sebastian wouldn’t care about soul mates, and therefore never leave him for one. To think that he’d been wrong… that maybe Sebastian did want his soul mate, and just hadn’t realized yet Blaine was a waste of his time…

He couldn’t stand to think of it. So he threw himself into Sebastian, hoping to be caught…

And that was what it felt like, Sebastian answering his need with just as much despair, taking him apart and putting him back together. Somehow, finally, when Sebastian pushed into him, it felt that despite whatever that had been, they were still on the same page, still in harmony, still in synch.

It was too soon for love, but right now, Blaine couldn’t think of another word.

Afterwards, lying together, with his head resting on Sebastian’s chest, he almost felt like he could breathe. It wasn’t quite peace, but the turmoil had calmed down.

“Are we okay?” he asked, his voice softer than intended.

Instead of an answer, Sebastian pressed a kiss into his hair. “Just… is this real, Blaine? You and me…? Because… I know, I said a lot of really dumb things. And that I hurt you. And that I’ve given you dozens of reasons not to trust me. But Blaine… I never cared about anyone the way I care about you. Never felt that way about someone. Never will. This isn’t about soul mates, or marks, it’s just… it’s you. You’ve always been real to me. Just…”

“This is real, Sebastian,” Blaine said. “But you’re wrong. I have no reason not to trust you. So, you screwed up, but that was years ago. And ever since you stepped back into my life, you’ve given me not one reason to doubt you, or us. You’re amazing, Sebastian. I’ve never felt this safe with anyone. I do trust you. Of course, this is real.”

Sebastian looked at him, so much more vulnerable than Blaine had seen him before, but finally, he nodded “Then yes.”

“What?”

Sebastian smiled, and Blaine could feel his heart lift at the sight. “Yes, we are okay.”

* * *

If Blaine was worried that Sebastian might treat him any different, he soon found out there was no reason to. It seemed that for now, they actually were okay, much to his relief. So maybe, occasionally, when he spent a night alone, there was that concern that they were on stolen time. Then again, there was nothing he could do about it, so he pushed that thought aside as fast as it came. He’d go on pretending for as long as he could.

But in spite of these bouts of insecurity, it was impossible to ignore how well things were going, how perfectly Sebastian was blending into his life, even if they both were busy with their jobs… and still, they found time for each other.

Nevertheless, Blaine had been a bit impressed when Sebastian had agreed to come with him to Rachel’s Broadway Quiz Night, more impressed when they’d made it to the semi-finals, where they were obliterated by their hosts.

Unfortunately, the final round turned out to be longer than expected, when Jesse and Rachel were going up against Kurt and Adam. Blaine was almost envious when Sebastian got a call and got to excuse himself for a moment, long enough to miss the thrilling conclusion of Santana throwing champagne over the quiz cards, forcing the whole thing into a tie with Kurt and Rachel still bickering over who would have won.

When Sebastian returned from his phone call, he looked positively stunned.

“Everything okay?” Blaine asked.

“Um… my coworker Dylan apparently had some bad sushi and started throwing up all over AOC’s fundraising event that he was supposed to report on,” Sebastian said. “They want me to come in at once and take over.”

“Oh my god, that’s huge,” Blaine said.

“It’s okay, right?” Sebastian asked.

“Are you kidding? Of course, it’s okay. What are you waiting for?”

“I mean… beside the obvious?” Sebastian asked, smirking at him.

Blaine rolled his eyes, even as he stepped forward and pulled his boyfriend into a searing kiss. “There you go,” he muttered against his lips after pulling back. “Now go and get them.”

Sebastian laughed, pressing one more kiss to Blaine’s lips, before saying his goodbyes.

“You two are kind of adorable,” Adam said once the door had fallen shut.

“Okay, the only way you can say this is because you don’t know that criminal meerkat,” Kurt said. “Trust me, the word adorable doesn’t even exist in that guy’s vocabulary. It’s probably crossed out and replaced by ten different synonyms for sleazy.”

Blaine stared at him, not quite believing what he’d heard. How was that not ages behind them at this point?

“And here I thought the night wouldn’t get interesting,” Santana said, grabbing for the bowl of popcorn.

“That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about,” Blaine said.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Look, I know you have a blind spot the size of Beyonce’s paycheck for his faults, but you can’t honestly believe that he is the one for you.”

“I told you, I’m not looking for my soul mate,” Blaine replied, “I’m looking for someone to be happy with. Which I actually am. Who cares about soul mates, when you can have this?”

“Wait… you’re not soul mates?” Adam asked, sounding slightly confused, although that may be about Kurt’s blatant dislike for Sebastian. “But… I thought… I mean, you’re always so… in _tune_.”

Blaine frowned. It came as a bit of a surprise that Adam had put enough thought into his relationship to come to this conclusion. And well, there was some truth to his observation, but still… “We _are_ in tune,” he said eventually. “That’s why we’re happy together. That’s what matters.”

“That’s actually a pretty healthy attitude,” Mercedes said. “People tend to get so obsessed about soul mates that they forget to build actual relationships.”

“I believe that,” Adam said, clearly just as interested in changing the subject. “I’m afraid my cousin is just bonkers when it comes to soul mates.”

As he began to tell a story that was crazy enough for even the McKinley crowd, Blaine felt like he could gradually relax again. Still, he couldn’t get rid of an undertone of annoyance. So finally, when he felt there was an opportunity to politely step away, he excused himself for a moment, getting out onto the balcony to get some fresh air. It was cold outside, the January air almost freezing to the point he could see another snowfall coming. Still, it was nice to have a moment of quiet. He loved his friends, but they could be a bit much.

Behind him, the door opened and someone else stepped outside. He didn’t need to look to know it was Kurt.

“You should make sure to talk to Rachel when you go back in,” Kurt said. “Santana is freaking her out by telling her you’re out here to smoke.”

“I think my director would fire me if I only thought about smoking,” Blaine said with a shrug, “and by _fire_ I mean literally burn me at the stake.”

“She sounds lovely,” Kurt said.

“Do you really need to check on that, though?” Blaine asked. If nothing else, Kurt should now him better than that.

“What I need is to apologize,” Kurt said. “What I said about Sebastian. That may have been out of line.”

“Oh, _may have been_?” Blaine asked.

“It _was_ out of line,” Kurt corrected himself. “I just can’t help it. Do you know how often he gloated back in high school, about taking you away from me? He was so gross about it, too.”

“High school was a long time ago,” Blaine said. “He was jealous. Some people don’t handle that too well.”

“Is it really that hard to understand why he’s a bit of a sore spot?” Kurt asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” Blaine said. “We broke up years ago, Kurt. This isn’t your business.”

“I’m worried about you,” Kurt said.

“I don’t want you to,” Blaine replied. “Do you see me complaining about who you’re dating? No, because it’s none of my business.”

“That’s not what I mean. It’s just… you love romance, remember when you told me how Valentine’s Day was your favorite holiday? And now, listen to yourself, just the way you talk about soul mates. Don’t tell me that’s not his opinion.”

“Actually, it’s not,” Blaine said. “Sebastian likes the idea of soul mates. It doesn’t matter. It’s much more important to be happy than be with your soul mate.”

“I think the idea is to be both,” Kurt said.

“How’s that working for you?” Blaine asked. “Is Adam your soul mate?” He knew the answer of course, but he suddenly realized he wasn’t aware if Kurt did, too.

His ex didn’t answer at first, clearly thinking about it. “I don’t know if he is,” Kurt said eventually, “maybe he isn’t. But… he’s the one who came back. I was an awful boyfriend to him back in college. I never let him get close. I was still too focused on you back then. Never really gave him a chance. And still… he’s here. He’s giving me a second chance. So maybe he’s not my soul mate, but… he cared enough to come back. That counts for something, right?”

Blaine couldn’t help but stare at him. This had to be the most vulnerable Kurt had been around him since they broke up, maybe even much longer. “But that’s just what I’m saying. Isn’t that more important? Couldn’t it be that focusing so much on the damn soul mate question might make you miss out on someone who could make you really happy?”

Kurt hesitated, but then he sighed. “Maybe you’re right,” he said. “Maybe it’s worth a shot. But still... Sebastian Smythe?”

“What’s wrong with Sebastian?” Blaine asked. “No, seriously, just for a moment try to forget how you hate him because he tried to steal your high school boyfriend. What’s wrong with him?”

“Oh, nothing, if you’re also asking me to ignore how he almost blinded you,” Kurt said.

“That was an accident, and you know it,” Blaine replied. “Besides, I forgave him years ago. It’s in the past. Ever since we reconnected, he’s… honestly, he’s been perfect. He’s always there when I need him, he makes time for me, he… he sees me, Kurt. I know you don’t like him, but… it’s been years. You’ve never really given him a chance. But he’s amazing. He’s… everything. He’s…”

Kurt stared at him, as if a realization was dawning onto him. “Wait… do you… _love_ him?”

Blaine felt the blood rush to his face, but he couldn’t even care. It was too soon, he knew it was too soon… but then again, was it? They’d only dated a short while, but he couldn’t pretend that there hadn’t been a connection between them right from the beginning.

“You do,” Kurt said, clearly taken aback.

“I… maybe,” Blaine said. “I don’t know, it’s… we haven’t dated that long, it’s soon, but… I might? Would that be so awful?”

Kurt sighed. “It’s really hard for me to ignore all that backstory,” he said eventually, “and I’m never going to be his biggest fan. But… we’re friends, you and I. And I do want you to be happy. Even if that means seeing you with him. So… if that’s what you want…”

“It is,” Blaine said, not even the slightest hesitation.

“Then I guess he can’t be all that bad,” Kurt said. “It’s just… seeing you with him of all people… it’s like a constant reminder of how I screwed up with you. I never really saw it, not until you left. But I wasn’t a good boyfriend to you, either. Not since I moved to New York. I focused so much on my own life, that I forgot to make room for you. And then there’s Sebastian, who told me even back in high school you were too good for me and that I’d lose you… I don’t know, I guess nobody wants to be reminded of how they screwed up.”

“I wasn’t perfect, either,” Blaine said. “and hey, maybe the reminder isn’t so bad? Maybe you can take your lessons from it and make sure not to screw up with Adam again.”

“I hope so,” Kurt said. “He’s… really good for me, I think.”

“He seems great,” Blaine said. “I’m really rooting for you guys.”

“Thank you. I hope to get there with you,” Kurt replied.

“Oh, well, don’t sprain anything trying,” Blaine said, but when he rolled his eye, there was fondness. On some level, it felt nice to have a conversation like this. It really had been a while since he and Kurt had talked this way, like actual friends. Probably not since their breakup, after which they’d always been more civil than anything else. Longer even, now that he thought about it. Their last real conversations must have been about Finn… Maybe this was a good thing, repairing their friendship. That was probably the best for them.

Of course, it reminded him of the one question he’d never been able to ask – lately, because it felt too much like picking on a finally healed wound, and before because he’d been afraid of the answer.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Kurt said.

“When I proposed to you… did you know? That we wouldn’t make it?” He’d never dared asking, had tried to put away that stab of pain and panic he’d felt even as Kurt had beamed at him and said yes.

“Honestly… no. At that moment, I was completely sure that this was it. That we’re soul mates, and that was the start of our happily ever after. It was just when life got in the way that it lost its magic.”

Blaine frowned. “Wait… are you sure? Like… didn’t you have conflicted emotions in any way?”

“No. Why, did you?”

“I… no, I was sure,” Blaine said. Which was why he’d known the emotion hadn’t been his own, the only time he’d been sure to pick up on someone else’s emotion. But if Kurt was telling him the truth… then what on earth had he felt back then?

The balcony door opened again, and when he turned, he saw Adam poking out his head.

“Everything okay with you guys?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Blaine said. “But I feel a bit tired, I think I’m calling it a night.”

As he made his way back inside, he threw a last look back to where Adam just stepped outside. He couldn’t help but smile at them. Maybe Kurt could find some happiness, too.

Blaine was hoping for the best.

* * *

For so long, Blaine had wanted to be on stage. Lately, he was having doubts. Not about still wanting it, just about whether going through the hell rehearsals had turned into, was actually worth it in the end.

His director had to be the Devil Incarnate, there was no other explanation. Most days he came out of rehearsal almost too exhausted to lift a spoon. Yesterday, she made their Valjean cry. After a particularly grueling rehearsal last week he was worried their Javert might actually throw himself into a river. Blaine himself was on the verge of quitting three times already. And that was just the last two weeks.

Without the preparation he’d gotten from Sue Sylvester, Carmen Tibideaux and Cassie July, he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t have walked out of the production already. Maybe that was the real point of NYADA. Not the knowledge, or the connections, but just the ability to survive insane directors.

Tonight, she’d screamed at him until he’d almost started crying. So needless to say, he was absolutely done with tonight. Really, it was probably a good thing to just fall into bed and disappear for the rest of the night. Sebastian had mentioned some work thing that would keep him busy, and Sam and Mercedes were off on a trip to some luxury spa hotel.

Blaine couldn’t wait for the night to be over. Returning to his dark and empty and quiet apartment actually sounded like a nice prospect.

Except the apartment was none of those things.

The lights were on, there was smoke coming from the kitchen, accompanied by the wailing of the fire alarm and colorful French swearing.

With his pulse pounding inside his own head, Blaine stormed into the kitchen, panic rising as he wasn’t sure what to expect. Sebastian stood in the middle, just flinching away from a burning towel on the floor. At least, he seemed unharmed, but that realization was cut short when he noticed the flames licking out of the oven.

“What the hell?” Blaine asked.

Sebastian turned towards him, and for a moment looked absolutely devastated.

“I can fix this,” he said, and Blaine probably would have found this charming if his kitchen wasn’t currently in the process of burning down.

He pushed Sebastian aside, quickly shoving the oven shut to interrupt the oxygen supply, and turning everything off. Next, he grabbed the kettle, the heavy weight in his hands telling him it was filled, and poured the water in it over the towel, extinguishing the fire.

“Could you get that?” he asked Sebastian, pointing towards the fire alarm on the ceiling. “I can’t reach.”

“Uh… yeah…” Sebastian reached out and just so managed to switch it off. As he finally put a stop to the incessant wailing, Blaine turned towards the stove, relieved to see that the fire was dying down. Apparently, baking paper had caught fire, and he could see about a dozen balls on top oof it that resembled charcoal.

Still, the damage seemed minimal. There were traces of soot on the floor now, the towel was beyond saving, but nothing else seemed to have caught fire. On the stove, there was a large pot, still softly simmering.

Slowly, the pounding of his own pulse seemed to subside, and he turned towards his boyfriend.

“What exactly happened?” he asked.

There was something absolutely miserable about the way Sebastian’s shoulders slumped as he looked around the kitchen, and without even thinking about it, Blaine walked up and pulled him into his arms. His earlier exhaustion was completely wiped away by the adrenaline.

“Hey, it’s okay, just… what happened? Are you hurt?”

Sebastian shook his head, although Blaine figured he’d ask that again once the shock had worn off.

“I’m fine, it’s just…” He groaned in frustration. “I wanted to surprise you with dinner.”

“Well, I’m definitely surprised,” Blaine said, trying to make light of it, but it didn’t seem like it helped all that much.

“I was trying to make coq au vin,” Sebastian said, “family recipe. Which would have been fine if the pommes duchesse hadn’t caught fire.”

“Oh…”

“Or well, the baking paper, so I tried to get it out, and one of the potatoes fell out while burning, so I got the towel and I thought I could extinguish the flames, but then it caught fire too, and the alarm wouldn’t shut up, and…” He stopped, running a hand through his hair. “It’s all a fucking mess. I suck at this. I thought I throw this whole dinner, even had Colette get your room-mates a discount for their damn spa weekend, and now look at it.”

“Wait… you sent them on their trip? So… we’d have the apartment?”

“I mean, I live with my sister. Can’t exactly ask her to stay out of her own apartment. Not to mention she needs it for her unfortunately annual Men-Suck-Why-Can’t-I-Be-A-Lesbian-Or-At-Least-Bisexual party.”

“Her what?”

“Oh, it’s what she does every year on Valentine’s Day,” Sebastian said, “it’s a whole thing, don’t ask her about it. The point is… I tried, okay? I guess I’m just really bad at this.”

Except the last words barely registered with Blaine, not with the rush of cold realization hitting him. In his mind, he started calculating, but the truth was inescapable.

“Oh my god,” he muttered. “It’s Valentine’s.”

“Uh… yeah,” Sebastian said. “I mean, hence the whole… disaster.” He frowned. “Wait… did you… forget?”

Blaine had to lean against a counter. “I’m the worst boyfriend ever,” he said. “I… I forgot. I… that…” How could this have happened? He loved Valentine’s Day! He’d brainstormed for it, gotten a gift even before Christmas. And now… “I’m sorry,” he said. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Sebastian said, although it didn’t sound like it was. “I mean… I get it. You’ve been really stressed with the show. Hell, you feel asleep on the subway.”

“Still-“

“Twice. Seriously, it’s fine,” Sebastian said, waving him off. “It’s just… it’s stupid anyway. Who needs another holiday for consumerism, right? Like anybody needs a gift or flowers or whatever… Let’s just forget about it all, okay?”

“What? No! Just… wait here?”

Blaine left him in the kitchen, hurrying to go into his room and not let his boyfriend wait too long. It didn’t take much rummaging in his dresser till he found what he was looking for.

When he returned to the kitchen, Sebastian was just checking on the large pot, stirring something.

“I actually got this weeks ago,” Blaine said.

Sebastian turned, only a hitch in his breath betraying that he hadn’t heard Blaine’s return.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to wrap it, and I meant to bake something, I even looked up recipes for macarons, but… well… I guess I’ve been a real mess. I’m sorry, I’m being such a bad boyfriend.”

Sebastian’s eyes fell to the golden pocket watch in his hands, and to Blaine’s relief, he looked touched. The former tension seemed to have dissolved. “I mean… I literally just set your kitchen on fire,” Sebastian said. “So let’s say we’re at a tie.”

Blaine laughed, as he held out his hand. Sebastian took the watch, looking it all over.

“Is that-?”

“It’s not mine,” Blaine said, “and not the same manufacturer, but it’s very similar. The casing is almost the same. I saw it at the jeweler’s shop where Sam got his engagement ring, and I just thought… you know.”

“It’s beautiful,” Sebastian said. “Thank you.”

Blaine could feel the relief flood through him, mixed with a warm happiness. “You like it?”

“Are you kidding? I love it. I also have a gift for you. I mean, it’s not physical. But, um… I got us tickets for a show, in June when you said you’ll have a break from Les Mis.”

“What show?” Blaine asked.

“Chicago,” Sebastian said. “At the Théâtre Mogador.”

Blaine frowned. “I don’t really know where…” His eyes widened when he realized. “Wait, are you taking me to France?”

Sebastian grinned. “That’s the plan.”

Blaine surged forward, kissing him. “It’s perfect,” he said.

“Unlike dinner,” Sebastian replied. “Do you want to check if we can salvage anything?”

The chicken at least seemed to have survived, and Sebastian was certain that it was cooked through at this point. Blaine didn’t feel too good about the idea of turning on the stove or oven again tonight, even though the flames had died down by now. But there was still some baguette left. So at least, there was a plan.

Soon enough, they had the kitchen cleared up. Blaine couldn’t help but marvel at how easy this felt, just to work side by side. It felt like warmth, and domesticity, and like a future.

It was even better to sit down, toast with what looked like fancy French red wine, and to dig into the dish. The bread worked well enough, and while the chicken had cooled down a bit by now, it turned out to be absolutely delicious.

Once they were finished with the food, their plates put away in the dishwasher, and the kitchen cleaned up at least enough for the moment, they poured some more wine and sat back down.

“Honestly, this turned out pretty well,” Blaine said, swirling the wine in his glass before taking another sip.

Sebastian smirked. “Again, I literally just set your kitchen on fire.”

“Okay, you have to stop saying that before Mercedes comes back,” Blaine said. “What I’m trying to say is, this was really good.”

“It’s a family recipe,” Sebastian said, “and actually the version Colette rewrote especially for me, with steps so easy they were kind of impossible to get wrong. And you know, still ended with the kitchen on fire.”

“Oh my god, just take a damn compliment, Smythe!” Still, Blaine couldn’t help his grin, because even like this, he couldn’t help how at home he felt with Sebastian, safe, and free, and just… happy.

And fine, he was an idiot.

Sebastian frowned, maybe noticing the mirth making way for something more solemn, more important. “What?” he asked.

Really, Blaine felt he made him wait long enough.

“I love you.”

Sebastian stared at him, as if he couldn’t believe the words. He looked softer, vulnerable, and Blaine felt the overwhelming urge to pull him close.

“You do?” Sebastian asked eventually, his voice held back, small, almost in awe.

“I do,” Blaine said, not a second of hesitation. “I love you,” he repeated, the word so natural on his tongue, like he’d been waiting his whole life to say them, right here, to this man right in front of him. It had taken him long enough, and now he didn’t want to waste another second.

Sebastian put a hand on his cheek, pulled just a bit and they met in the middle, kissing each other over the dining table. It should have been awkward, but all Blaine could focus on was that feeling of _finally_.

Eventually, they had to part, but Blaine knew he would never forget the way Sebastian looked at him, disbelief and happiness and awe, before he spoke, “I love you too,” in an almost breathless whisper.

“Good,” Blaine said, smiling against his lips. “Now take me to bed.”

* * *

If Blaine got a choice, he’d always want to wake up like this. No alarm, just the sunlight. Sebastian draped over his back, effectively spooning him, his arm thrown over Blaine’s side to hold him close, the air of his breath fanning over the skin of Blaine’s neck.

This was perfect. This was what he wanted.

This was love.

He turned in Sebastian’s arms, so they were face to face. He let his fingers move over Sebastian’s cheek, down his throat, following a path of freckles down to his chest and lower. His boyfriend. His love. The man he wanted to have a future with. And still, his fingers followed down, to the thing that Blaine once thought might be the thing to break them. But now, he felt safe. He didn’t have to worry, because Sebastian loved him. Because he loved Sebastian. Every part of him, including the one that wasn’t for him. So for once, Blaine allowed his eyes to follow his fingers as they met the lines of the mark, following the leaves and vines, the black lines, the green hues, at some point tipping over into blue, or yellow…

…right towards the blossom, full of gold and red, where Sebastian’s soul mark lay in full bloom on the skin of his groin.

Blaine stared, and it felt like his brain had frozen. A fully bloomed soul mark. But… how?

“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked, his voice still heavy from sleep. He frowned, when he noticed the look on Blaine’s face. Then, he followed his gaze to where the soul mark had bloomed.

There was something sweet about the expression on Sebastian’s face, wonder, and just a bit of giddiness. He pulled away the sheets still draped over Blaine’s back, and looked over Blaine’s shoulder towards the mirror in the corner of the room. He gulped, and his smile got even wider. Blaine turned his head, looked over his own shoulder at his own reflection. On his lower back, his own soul mark had changed, grown more vines and leaves, bathed in color, and also in full bloom.

“Gorgeous,” Sebastian muttered, pressing a kiss right over Blaine’s collar bone, his hand moving to touch the mark, sending a rush of happiness that ran through Blaine’s veins.

“That… you… but…”

“Wow, someone clearly needs coffee,” Sebastian said, the teasing in his voice warmer than anything Blaine had ever felt.

“We’re soul mates,” Blaine said. It was so simple, so easy, and still it felt… huge. Insane.

“I mean… yeah, obviously,” Sebastian said, shrugging as if this didn’t come as any surprise to him.

“You knew?” Blaine asked. “Since when?

“Like… ages,” Sebastian said. “Color is a pretty good sign, right? Granted, I was a bit surprised, not like you expect the thing to take color after you talk up a cute guy at a coffee shop and somehow end up inviting him and his nag of a boyfriend out to the lamest bar ever… but the color doesn’t lie, does it?”

And suddenly, finally, Blaine understood. With the placement of his mark, he hadn’t looked at it every day. He’d thought the color had come from the first time he’d slept with Kurt. But that had only been a few days after meeting Sebastian, days in which he was now pretty sure he hadn’t checked his mark. The color must have disappeared after the rock salt slushie, after they’d fallen out, and he just hadn’t seen. All other changes, the way the shape had morphed during his relationship with Kurt, meant nothing. And of course, at the proposal, it hadn’t been Kurt’s emotions he’d picked up on.

They had been Sebastian’s.

Because Sebastian was his soul mate. That was the reason they were in tune like this, how Sebastian seemed to read him so easily, and how he’d been enchanted by everything the other boy had done, even when he probably shouldn’t have been…

“You didn’t know?” Sebastian asked. “So, wait… your whole anti-soul mate thing… that wasn’t you telling me that just because we’re soul mates doesn’t mean we’re a sure thing?”

“More like please don’t leave me, even if I’m not your soul mate,” Blaine said. “Wow. I’m kind of dumb, aren’t I?”

“In some aspects, maybe,” Sebastian said. “But… this is good, right?”

Blaine turned back, laughing as he embraced his boyfriend – soul mate. “It’s all I wanted,” he said. He hadn’t even known how true it was, how much he had longed for this. He’d thought he’d have to choose between his own mental health and having a soul mate, and there’d been only one thing he could do. To now realize how wrong he’d been, that it had never been that choice… that he _could_ have it all, because his soul mate was actually someone who deserved the name, who would never make him feel that way, make him lose himself, who loved, and encouraged, and _cherished_ him…

Of course, it was Sebastian. How he ever could have doubted it, was beyond him.

Sebastian looked at him with traces of confusion, but eventually seemed to decide it could wait. Maybe Blaine would explain it at some point, when this wasn’t as fresh, when he’d gotten used to the reality of their soul bond. Someday, this would be an amusing story. For now, it was nothing compared to the man holding him, and that wonderful, light, exhilarating feeling of having nothing stand between them anymore.

And when he said it again, _I love you_ , and again, and again, and _again_ , it felt like nothing less than the beginning of the rest of their lives.

* * *


End file.
